A thousand ways grateful

Today I am just grateful

I believe that every good thing comes from God. There are a myriad of good things in my life and I want to say Thank You to Him. I like how King David expresses his gratitude:

Thank you! Everything in me says "Thank you!" Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing your holy temple and say it again: "Thank you!" Thank you for your love, thank you for your faithfulness; Most holy is your name, most holy is your Word. The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength. Psalm 138:1 

Today I have a thousand ways that I'm grateful

Please indulge me as I say that I'm thankful for the ways God expresses His love for me. Here are just a few:

• My Sarah. The words to describe my beautiful, talented, shining daughter escape me. I am not skilled enough yet in this craft of words to tell the deep emotions that rise when I consider her. Yet, I continue to try. Today they are the colors bubble gum pink, smokey grey, and mysterious violet. 
• New lipstick. The scent encountered the first time one twists up a fresh tube of lipstick is a little bit thrilling. The smooth surface of color is perfect and I almost hate to mess it up. Yet, I can hardly wait to dress my lips with the slickness of the new shade. I like it...
• Sally Cat. She persistently pursues my affection my insisting to be on my lap when I'm at my computer or reading in my big green chair. My lap is her throne. 
• My Creator. I can't begin to comprehend the ever evolving, ever expanding universe. I will never get my mind big enough to fully enter the world of quantum physics. The intricate details of things big and small boggle my pea brain. All I can say is, wow! God, the harder I look, the deeper I delve, the more honored I am to be called your beloved. 

• Lively conversations about good reads. When a fellow read-acholic can get as excited as I do, well, it's pure heaven! Learning from someone I respect about a new book or being introduced to a new author is mind expanding. Yes!
• Icy cold martinis. Yep, the crisp ginny juniper essence barely cut with a kiss of vermouth. Oh...! 
• Friday morning phone chats with mom. Our standing weekly date is Friday morning at 8:00. I call mom, she answers with a sunny hello. The previous seven days are encapsulated.
• Warm hugs and kisses from friends. As I venture out in the world and encounter friends, I am happy to embrace them in greeting. The brief moment of closeness fills me with joyful energy that keeps my shine going. 
• Planning family gatherings. My family is a lot of fun, as we're a creative bunch. Getting together for Easter holiday is going to be an event. Just like it always is. Excited conversation. Amazingly creative food. The planning part is almost as fun as the doing part! 

• Soap. Gorgeous French milled soap. Hand-crafted organic soap. Prettily wrapped boutique soap. Italian goat's milk soap. Mmmm, I love you all!
• My girl friends. I thought to list each, then realized the list was so very long. And, what if I inadvertently missed one dear?! May the richness you've added to my life return to you tenfold. Each of you are rare and beautiful gems. I wear the love of our friendship with honor.
• Job interviews. I'm actually showing up on employers' radar. Many job seekers feel that all their efforts are going into some black hole at the far end of the universe. I think a few of my letters of interest have ended up there as well. Yet, the lovely opportunities I've had are confirming that I really do got it going!
• My Morgan. To have a son who honors me, expresses in his life some of my own dreams, and who still on occasion calls me "mommy" is a delight beyond expression. Thinking of him conjures visions of sparkling surf, homemade pizza, and all things "suvvy." 
• Eddie Dog. Rambunctious, adorable, crazy Eddie. My little buddy is super glued to me and I love it.

• Robust and complex coffee. You all already know my love affair with java. I'm just saying I'm thankful...again.
• The rushing creek down the road. It has come to life with the melting snow. It's fresh. It's wild. It's sparking with spring!
• My guy friends. You champion me. You validate me. You challenge me. Some of you think I'm pretty. One or two even think I'm sexy. I love you!
• Peace in times of strife. Trusting in God's provision during lean times has taught me the sweet joy of falling into Him. They ways He cares for me are precious. 
• Yummy smelling things like exotic incense, the top of a baby's head, sun-warmed tomato plants, freshly baked pumpkin pie, a freshly showered man, a perfectly scented candle, money (the green kind), and warm laundry from the dryer. 

The list goes on.... pot roast with carrots and potatoes, cards in the mail, snuggling, bird baths, an eager audience, completing a to-do list, funky and cool jazz, mint tea, junking treasures, foreign films, my bed after traveling, seeing the potential in another person, baby clothes, a balanced checkbook, a hike in the woods, the car wash, getting flowers, the robins in the tree out my window, praise for a job well done, plane boarding passes, the full moon, synchronicity, long and hot showers, tree canopied roads, reading poetry with a friend...

Today I am a thousand ways grateful. 

The first camping trip of the year

Daily Gratitude

I'm shining today because I'm grateful for:

• An extra hour of day light in the evening. Not loving loosing an hour in the morning, but know that I will adjust in a couple of days.
• Warm showers and washing machines. These were the two things I ran to immediately upon returning from my first camping trip of the season! 
• The safety of both of my kids. Both Sarah and Morgan took trips and came home with great memories. I'm so thankful they've returned happy and sound.

Ah! The great outdoors! 

When friends learned that Mountain Girls Adventures Genia and I were going camping this weekend, they shook their heads like I was nuts and told me to keep warm.  Even the cashiers at Walmart and Winco Foods had funny, wondering looks on their faces. Why in the world would anyone want to go camping in early March?

Because there's adventure in going and doing! 

Camping is something I've done since I was a kid. Most of the time I've wilderness camped. That is, going into remote locations where there isn't another human in sight. Nor are there water and power hookups, restrooms, showers, or tidy tent pads. Occasionally, I will camp in a campground. Usually not by choice. However, this trip it was a great decision.

Genia has a long history of summer adventures at Farragut State Park in northern Idaho. And, while we packed plenty of gear for tent camping, she thought one or two nights in one of the cabins would be fun. She made a good choice!

This little cabin is just great! It includes bedding and a log table with two small benches. It's wired for power, so there were lights and a heater/air conditioner unit. It sleeps five, however we thought it was just great for two people with a dog. Fortunately, Genia is small, so she could fit the little bunk bed. Eddie and I were grateful for a full sized lower bunk. 

So, maybe it wasn't wilderness, tent camping. But, it was pretty close! We still had outdoor cooking and outhouses. We packed in our water and used our flashlights. And, campfire smoke permeated our clothes. It was camping.

While hot dogs, hamburgers and smores are the mainstay of most camping trips, I like to fix up healthy and fun food ahead of time. This trip I thought it would be fun to try new camping recipes. Here are a few:

Pumpkin Apple Pancakes

1 large egg

1 cup flour

1 cup milk

1/ cup canned pumpkin puree

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon nutmeg

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 apple peeled, cored, and shredded

2 tablespoons butter, divided

Syrup

Mix together all ingredients except butter and syrup in a bowl. Melt 2 teaspoons butter in a large nonstick frying pan over medium heat. Spoon batter by 1/3 cup portions into pan, making 3 or 4 pancakes at a time. Cook turning once, until cooked through, 8 to 10  minutes. Continue making pancakes with remaining batter, adding more butter to pan for each batch. Serve with syrup and more butter. Camping note: Mix dry ingredients and place in small ziploc bag. Mix all wet ingredients except apple and place in small ziploc bag. Place the two small ziploc bags, the whole apple, and measured butter all in a large ziploc together. Before preparing to mix and cook, peel, core and shred apple. 

Mexican Squash

3 Mexican Squash

1/2 heavy cream

salt and pepper to taste

Coarsely chop squash. Place in pan with cream. Cover and simmer until squash is soft. Add salt and pepper. Serve!

Salade aux Trois Légumineuses (3 Bean Salad)

1 cup frozen shelled edamame, thawed
8 ounces of fresh French green beans
1 1/2 cups garbanzo beans, cooked and drained
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

1/4 shallots, chopped

1 tablespoon Herbs d'Provence

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon olive oil

Bring a large pan of water to boiling. Add edamame and green beans. Cook 4 minutes. Rinse with cold water and drain. Combine edamame, green beans, garbanzo beans, and red pepper a bowl. In a small bowl, combine shallots and remaining ingredients, stirring well with a whisk. Drizzled dressing over bean mixture and toss. Camping note: Place bean salad in a large ziploc bag or plastic container.

Curried Lentils

2 cup dried lentils
6 cups water
1 bay leaf
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
2 teaspoons curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped tomato
1/2 teaspoon garlic chili paste
Sour cream
Fresh cilantro

In a medium pot, bring water, lentils, and bay leaf to boil. Cover and turn reduce heat for 20 minutes or until lentils are soft. Drain and discard bay leaf. In a separate pan, add oil, onion, and tomato. Saute until tender. Add garlic, curry powder, cumin, salt, and chili paste. Add lentils and cook and additional minute. Serve with a dollop of sour cream and garnish with fresh cilantro leaves.  Camping note: Place lentils in a large ziploc bag or plastic container. We topped the lentils with a bit of shredded cheese rather than sour cream and cilantro. 

Chipotle-Lime Mashed Yams

4 large yams (about 2 pounds)

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 1/2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons milk

1 tablespoon fresh lime juice

1 1/2 tablespoons finely chopped chipotle chile in adobo sauce

1 tablespoon adobo sauce

1/4 teaspoon salt

Boil quartered yams in a large pot of water until soft. Drain and remove skins. Mash yams in a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients. Camping note: Place mashed yams in a large ziploc bag or plastic container. 

I didn't get a picture of this, but it was sure yummy!

Mashed Avocado with Hummus

2 cans drained garbanzo beans
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup tahini
1 lemon, juiced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon salt
1 large, ripe avocado

In a food processor, make a coarse paste with the garbanzo beans. Add oil slowly as the processor continues to make the beans a thick paste. Add tahini and mix in. Add lemon, garlic, cardamom, and salt to make hummus. If serving immediately, smash avocado separately and stir into hummus. Camping note: Place hummus in a plastic container. Wait to mash and stir in avocado right before serving.

There were several more, but I'll post them on Mermaids in our next issue in May.

What a wonderful, beautiful, adventure-filled time! Coffee by the fire in the morning. Stars shining brightly against the dark, frozen sky at night.

Hiking around the hillsides and along the beaches.

Sharing the invigorating air, spectacular sights, and excellent conversation and laughter with a great friend.

What an exceptional way to start the season! 

Confronting disappointment

Daily Gratitude

I'm shining today because I'm grateful for:

• Bright sunshine on my face. It's cold, but it's bright. Oh, the glorious light of early spring!
• The job I didn't get. Really? Yes! I thought I'd be sad, but I realized that the boss was kind of wimpy. It appeared that he couldn't handle my strong personality. That would make my world terrible. Can't have a boss that's threatened by my shininess! 
• My friend, Genia. She's so good to me. I went out of town for the weekend and she generously hung out with Eddie dog while I was away. It's so nice knowing he's with his Auntie Genia while I'm gone. 

Today I'm thinking about disappointment

Disappointment has been a big part of my early years. On some level it'll always be part of life. I believe that's the human condition. Yet, I'm getting pretty good at confronting it with confidence and a plan...

Heartbroken

Quite literally, I felt my heart had broken into pieces. Seemingly out of the blue, my husband of 20 some years announced that he was executing an exit plan - he had an apartment and his buddies were coming to move him the next day. And, yes, he was serving me with divorce papers. I was crushed. Are you kidding? After all of the life we had weathered together, the hell and high waters we navigated?

Resentful 

Boy, was I angry. For years I deferred my career advancement because I had kids at home. To move ahead in my field meant relocation. I wouldn't do that to my high school-aged children. When the time finally was right, the economy tanked and with it the administrative position. Seriously? I worked too hard and too long to be denied this!

Out of my mind 

I was about to realize one of my most precious and clung to dreams: an overseas trip. Getting the passport ready, shopping for the perfect walking shoes and mix-and-match clothing, and smart packing had all been done. I was ready for my big trip! A phone call dashed all I had dreamed for in a manner of minutes. My trip was cancelled! I cried, ranted, raved. Why? Why, oh why isn't it ever my turn!

In denial 

Why would I think things were going to be different this time? The births of my children, family funerals, momentous birthdays - all where times it seemed I just might get that close relationship with my parent. But alas, I was always denied any long-term, lasting affection. Maybe if I keep trying. Maybe this time. Maybe this special day, this special thing I will do, will make my emotionally unavailable parent see how much I want to be important to them. Don't think about all the previous times it hasn't made a difference…

A bit dramatic? Maybe. But, these and a myriad of other big and small disappointments are part of my human experience. And, when things got bad, did anyone realize my heart was broken, that I was angry and resentful, or that I was going out of my mind? Pretty much no. My best friend and my sister knew things weren't perfect. However, the rest of the world only saw a smile, determination, and a positive attitude. Isn't that how we're supposed to deal with things? We put on our big girl panties and move forward?

There are all sorts of self-help books, Internet websites filled with stuff, and other kinds of advise out there. Some is helpful, most of it is a message to buck up and be happy. I was already doing that and it didn't serve me. A couple of months ago I experienced yet another letdown. It dawned on me that I could possibly handle things in a new way. I decided to look objectively at how I might better navigate through disappointment.

Here are my thoughts, see if they ring true for you:

It's okay to be upset 

First and foremost, I need to acknowledge my feelings. We have emotions for a reason. They tell us what's happening inside. Sometimes disappointment registers with my body before I realize what's happening with my heart. I can get tense, my stomach hurts, sometimes a cold sore breaks out on my upper lip. These are signs. It's at this point I need to stop and ask myself if I'm annoyed, angry, or hurt. Once identified, I will tell my self I'm disappointed and it's alright to feel that way.

Talk about it 

Really? Let someone know you're not super-human and that you fail now and then? Yes! My sister told me it's good to share with someone you trust that you are feeling humiliated, stupid, or hurt. Not because you need to admit or confess this to someone else. But, because it takes it out of your head and puts your feelings into words. This helps to stop the spin-cycle. From there, you can discuss what you're feeling with someone who cares about you. I'm so blessed to have a best friend and a dear sister who have my best interest in mind. I will spill the beans with one or both (probably both!) of them.

The evidence 

When I feel someone has let me down, I have to ask myself if I've created something that wasn't necessarily agreed to by the other party. By going back over conversations, even written agreements, for the purpose of objectively gathering what the other party intended, I can see if I created my own expectations. I know that this won't always be the case. There will be times that people blatantly drop the ball or fall short. But, if I find that I built up a situation in my heart or mind, I will be better able to address what is mine and what is theirs.

What can I change? 

Looking at my disappointment to see what can be changed and what can't is helpful. By asking myself if there are elements in a situation that I can change to make things better, I can lessen the impact. Sometimes there are simple corrections or shifts I can make that will put me in a new direction. Other times there are more long-range plans I can make. This gives me a plan to work on. There may be times that there's nothing I can do to impact my circumstance. But, going through the process will put me in a good position to know where I'm at.

Trust in the Divine 

After feeling, talking, evidence gathering, and changing all that can be changed, I may find that I am simply left with a bad thing. What happens now? Is this where the big girl panties come in and I have to grin and bear it? No. Bad things happen to us. It's an element of being human. I firmly believe that God can take a bad thing and make something beautiful from it. I have seen evidence of this over and over again. When there is a disappointment and I can't do one single thing to impact it, I am gladly going to give it over. Divine direction is much better than my own! The next time I have a big, bad disappointment, and I've done my part, I'm going to let go and see what good plan is in store for me. I know it's going to be amazing and I won't be able stay disappointed for long.

And, that's how I'm confronting disappointment!

Little birds everywhere

Daily Gratitude

I'm shining today because I'm grateful for:

• My daughter's parking ticket. Really? Yes! It's from the university she's attending. To me it's a reminder that she's doing really awesome things and has a plan she's pursuing. Now, the ticket itself... I'm sending it to her! 
• The geese honking in the early morning. While walking Eddie dog, a bunch of noisy geese flew loudly overhead. I think they were making plans for a spring party at the lake. 
• Nice people on the freeway. Now, you don't hear that too often, do you? Yesterday a man beeped his horn at me while I was driving along, minding my own business. He had a note pushed up to his window saying, "low air in front right tire." Nice, huh? I thought so. 

Funny thing about birds...

My bestie, Debbie, and I are always on the prowl for vintage treasures. Yesterday we stopped by Roost, one of our favorite places. And, what do you know, I found a bird treasure. What better thing to get than a cloche with a bird on it!

It's no surprise to most of my friends that I'd get another bird for the house. It was pointed out by first Debbie, then later my friend Genia, that I have birds all over my home. Which is a crack up, because I suffer from a mild case of ornithophobia. Hmmmm... 

I guess this bird collecting was started by my grandmother and perpetuated by mom. Grandma loved her forest and garden birds. Each spring, mom eagerly awaits the return of her precious blue birds. Apparently, I have continued the legacy.

Looking around my home, birds nest in every room. Here's one that sits in my kitchen window, a friend guarding my plant and wishing it good things. 

This darling chickadee with acorns was one of grandma's favorite birds. When she passed, I was so pleased to have it. The piece reminds me of the times spent in her garden, the light trill of chickadee calls on the breeze.

This graceful, golden bird sits on my mantle, a treasure found at the Funky Junk show in Sandpoint, Idaho. 

Here sits a happy yellow bird. He's happy because a sweet piece of art by Cori Dantini is his companion. 

Grandma's brother brought this little guy home from Russia. He's only about 1.5" tall. A special treasure for his bird-loving sister. He is snuggled in a special spot in my china hutch.

Bird art is on the walls as well. This picture of a trio of birds is one of a set that I love dearly. The rusts, copper and grays are beautiful against my olive green walls. 

Here is one of my favorite thrift store finds! The bright orange vase and lively colors of the blue bird and flowers bring a pop of energy to a bookshelf. 

Two resting birds add to the sense of tranquility in my spa-like bathroom. Here they enjoy the morning light in the stained glass window. 

The plate that hangs in my bedroom is pretty vintage Paragon tea ware. It was produced as a souvenir for the 1930 birth of Princess Margaret Rose. Next to it, a chippy candle sconce from a darling boutique.

One of a pair of perched birds who guard my kitchen. I love how they make the entry way special.

Here a bird, there a bird...

Hmmmm..... there are quite a few more as I look around the place. I think I'll save them for another day. But, Debbie and Genia are right, there ARE little birds everywhere!